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Post-Marriage Contact: Expert Tips on Why Your Ex Still Reaches Out and How to Respond

If you are struggling with “my ex got married but still contacts me”, it can be confusing and frustrating. Find out what it means and how to deal with it.

My Ex Got Married But Still Contacts Me: Insights and Strategies


Finding closure after a breakup can be challenging enough, but when your ex-partner moves on to marriage yet continues to reach out, it can introduce a whirlwind of complex emotions. You might feel confused, hurt, angry, or even hopeful for reconciliation.

As it can be said:

“In the echoes of past love, your strength finds its voice.”

Understanding the reasons behind their actions, prioritizing your emotional well-being, and setting clear boundaries are essential steps in navigating this delicate situation.

Understanding the Situation

The Emotional Impact:

Receiving messages or calls from an ex who is now married can stir up a mix of emotions. It’s normal to feel:

  • Confusion: You might question their intentions and wonder why they’re still reaching out despite entering a new commitment.
  • Hurt: Seeing them move on can trigger feelings of rejection or inadequacy, even if you’ve accepted the breakup.
  • Anger: Their continued contact might feel disrespectful or inconsiderate of your feelings and the boundaries of their new marriage.
  • Longing: A part of you might miss the relationship or even hold onto hope for reconciliation.
  • Guilt: You might question if you’re somehow encouraging their behavior or feel guilty for interacting with them.
A guy wearing black glasses calling his ex-girlfriend-(my ex got married but still contacts me)
The Emotional Impact-(my ex got married but still contacts me)

Behind Continued Contact:

An ex-partner’s motivations for maintaining communication after marriage can vary:

  • Unresolved Feelings: They might still harbor feelings for you or struggle to fully let go of the relationship.
  • Guilt or Regret: They might feel guilty about how the relationship ended or regret their decision to move on.
  • Friendship: They might genuinely seek a platonic friendship, even if it’s challenging to establish healthy boundaries.
  • Emotional Dependence: They might rely on you for emotional support or validation, even if it’s inappropriate within their new marriage.
  • Manipulation: In some cases, they might intentionally try to keep you emotionally invested or create drama within their current relationship.

Setting Boundaries:

Protecting your emotional well-being requires establishing clear boundaries with your ex-partner. Consider the following steps:

  • Assess Your Needs: Reflect on what you need to feel emotionally safe and comfortable. Do you need space from them? Do you want to limit communication to specific topics?
  • Communicate Your Boundaries: Clearly and assertively express your boundaries to your ex. Explain why these boundaries are important for you and how you’d like them to respect them.
  • Enforce Boundaries: If they continue to disregard your boundaries, take action to protect yourself. This might involve limiting contact, blocking their number, or seeking support from friends or a therapist.
A guy begging her ex-girlfriend while she is refusing-(my ex got married but still contacts me)
Setting Boundaries

Communication Techniques:

When interacting with your ex, remember:

  • Stay Calm and Collected: Avoid engaging in heated arguments or emotional outbursts.
  • Be Direct and Honest: Express your feelings and concerns directly, but avoid accusations or blame.
  • Focus on Yourself: Prioritize your own needs and well-being throughout the conversation.
  • Consider Professional Guidance: If communication becomes challenging or overwhelming, consider seeking help from a therapist or counselor.

Moving Forward

Personal Growth and Self-Care:

While navigating this situation, remember to prioritize your personal growth and well-being. Here are some ways to focus on yourself:

  • Invest in Self-Care: Engage in activities that nourish your mind, body, and soul. This might include exercise, meditation, spending time in nature, or connecting with loved ones.
  • Seek Support: You should surround yourself with friends and family who will understand and support you. Consider joining a support group or seeking individual therapy to process your emotions.
  • Rediscover Yourself: Reconnect with your hobbies and interests that bring you joy and fulfillment. Look into new ways to improve yourself and grow.
  • Focus on the Future: Set goals for yourself and envision a fulfilling future where your past relationship no longer holds you back.

“In the journey of self-recovery, every step away from our past is a step towards our own liberation.”

Finding Closure:

Finding closure is an essential step in moving on. Here are some tips:

  • Acknowledge Your Feelings: Allow yourself to experience the full range of emotions associated with the situation. Bottling up emotions can hinder your healing process.
  • Accept What Happened: Accept that the relationship is over and that your ex has chosen a different path. Acknowledge the role you played in the relationship and learn from the experience.
  • Forgive (Yourself and Your Ex): Holding onto anger and resentment only hurts you. Choose to forgive yourself and your ex, not condoning their actions but releasing the emotional burden.
  • Create New Memories: Focus on creating positive experiences and memories that will overshadow the past relationship.
A woman sitting on a bench in a park, holding a flower and smiling. She is surrounded by colorful balloons and confetti. The title of the article is “Finding Closure: How to move on from your ex who is married to someone else”.-(my ex got married but still contacts me)
Finding Closure

Dealing with Emotional Challenges

Understanding Emotional Health:

Managing complex emotions can be challenging. It’s crucial to understand the psychological aspects of dealing with this situation:

  • Cognitive Dissonance: You might experience cognitive dissonance, a conflict between your beliefs and your ex’s actions. This can cause stress, misunderstanding, and trouble.
  • Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD): In some cases, experiencing a difficult breakup can lead to symptoms of PTSD, requiring professional support.

As one can say:

“Sometimes, the heart’s tides flow contrary to the mind’s current, creating storms within us.”

A girl and a guy sitting facing opposite side to each other and a line divides them-(my ex got married but still contacts me)
Dealing with Emotional Challenges

Seeking Support:

Don’t be afraid to get help from a professional if you:

  • Have a hard time controlling your feelings by yourself.
  • Have difficulty setting or enforcing boundaries with your ex.
  • Suspect you might be experiencing PTSD symptoms.

A therapist can provide a safe space to explore your emotions, develop coping mechanisms, and build self-esteem.

A girl and a guy sitting facing each other and different social icons surround them-(my ex got married but still contacts me)
Seeking Support

Establishing a New Normal

Redefining Relationships:

Once you’ve healed and moved on, consider how you want to redefine your relationship with your ex:

  • No Contact: If their presence continues to be disruptive, choosing to have no contact might be necessary for your peace of mind.
  • Limited Contact: If you can maintain healthy boundaries, occasional communication might be possible. However, prioritize your well-being and be prepared to distance yourself if needed.
  • Friendship: In rare cases, a genuine friendship might develop over time, but proceed cautiously and only if both parties are fully invested in healthy boundaries and respect.

“Sometimes, the strongest boundaries we build are the ones that pave the way for our peace.”

A woman smiling and looking at the horizon, with a caption that says ‘Looking to the Future’-(my ex got married but still contacts me)
Looking to the Future

Looking to the Future:

Remember, this experience, though challenging, can be an opportunity for personal growth and self-discovery. As you move forward, focus on:

  • Learning from the Past: Reflect on the lessons learned from the relationship and use them to make informed choices in future relationships.
  • Opening Yourself to Love: Don’t let this experience discourage you from finding love again. With time and healing, you can open your heart to new and fulfilling relationships.
  • Prioritizing Your Happiness: Make your well-being your top priority. Choose to surround yourself with positive people and experiences that bring you joy and fulfillment.

Conclusion: my ex got married but still contacts me

Navigating the complexities of an ex-partner’s continued contact after marriage requires patience, self-compassion, and a commitment to your emotional well-being. 

“Emerging from the shadow of the past, we find our strength in the light of our future.”

By understanding their potential motives, setting healthy boundaries, and prioritizing self-care, you can move through this challenging situation and emerge stronger and more resilient.

5 Key Takeaways:

  • Prioritize Your Emotional Well-Being: Set clear boundaries, practice self-care, and don’t hesitate to seek professional support if needed.
  • Understand Their Motives: Analyze their potential reasons for continued contact and assess if their presence aligns with your emotional well-being.
  • Communicate Assertively: Express your needs and boundaries clearly and directly, focusing on your own well-being without accusations or blame.
  • Focus on Personal Growth: Invest in self-care activities, rediscover your passions, and set goals for a future where the past relationship no longer holds you back.
  • Embrace Closure and Move Forward: Acknowledge your emotions, forgive (yourself and them), and create new memories that pave the way for a happier future.

Remember, you got this. You are stronger than you think, and you deserve to heal and move forward into a future filled with joy and fulfillment.

Additional Resources:

Frequently Asked Questions

Here are some questions relevant to my ex got married but still contacts me:

Why would my ex contact me after getting married?

An ex might contact after getting married due to various reasons, such as seeking closure, maintaining a friendship, or unresolved feelings. The intent varies and isn’t necessarily romantic.

Does it mean my ex still has feelings for me?

Not necessarily. Frequency, content, and context offer clues, but reaching out could mean many things, like seeking validation or an ego boost.

Is it okay for my ex to contact me if they’re married?

It depends. If it crosses boundaries or disrespects their spouse, it may be inappropriate to engage. Clear communication is key.

How should I respond to my ex’s contact?

Set boundaries, seek clarity on their intentions, ignore them politely, or reply minimally, depending on your goals and comfort level.

Is it possible to be friends with my ex after they get married?

It’s challenging but possible, with mutual respect, clear boundaries, and ensuring contact doesn’t damage existing relationships.

What if my ex’s contact makes me uncomfortable or hurts my feelings?

Prioritize yourself by setting firm boundaries, limiting contact, communicating directly how you feel, or seeking professional support.

How can I move on if my ex keeps contacting me?

Focus on your needs, build new relationships, limit communication channels, seek support, and don’t overanalyze their behavior.

Is there anything I should tell my ex’s spouse?

Tread carefully and focus on honesty and respect. Consider motivation and potential consequences before informing them.

What if my ex’s contact feels manipulative or controlling?

Recognize red flags, limit contact channels, and seek advice or support. Prioritize your safety and well-being above all else.


Hi, I am Asif, a relationship expert and blogger who loves to share practical tips and advice on how to improve your love life. I am an author on, a blog that covers topics such as dating, communication, intimacy, and breakups. I believe that everyone deserves to find happiness and fulfillment in their relationships.

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